Which Facebook runner are you?

Running and Facebook go together like peas and carrots, as a famous ultra runner once said. It's true but there are many different types. Which one are you?

Digits of PI

Nice 8.263 mile run in the breeze today

Fearful that you could take a step in a run and it will not be communticated you detail the length of your run to so many decimal places that every single footstep counts. Reporting a run to three decimal places in KM means that every single meter is recorded, as if it matters to others whether you started running from your front door, your gate (+0.005km), the first lamp post (+0.010km) or the corner where you can get better signal (0.015km). Crucial information I'm sure you'll agree.

The Ponzi Chump

Share this picture of an energy gel for a chance to win an energy gel.

Seems legit. All you have to do is recruit 100 friends to "like and share" the picture and as soon as they do you get a gel. As soon as they get 100 friends to like and share they get a gel too, except they have all the same friends as you. Somehow it all falls over and the total energy expended creates a rush for energy products.

The Inspirational Quoter

The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to put it on facebook.

Putting on some shoes and going out for a jog around the block hardly makes us comparable to Yuri Gagarin or those workers in the Japanese Nuclear Reactor a few years back, however you'd think so looking at these status updates. Apparently even if you are not saving lives while running you are still slapping everyone else sat on the couch.

My worst is better than your best

Ran a marathon today. Got through half way in 1.15 but blew up competely and walked and finished in 2.43. I think I might just give up running. I am shit. Really fucking shit.

When we make statements we have two levels of communication, a semantic level and a psychological level. Here the semantic level is "I'm not very happy with how my race went". The Psychological "ulterior" level is "even at my worst I am still better than most of the people who will be reading this update

Enema of the State

Logged a run on [somewebsite.com] with link to everywhere I have been at the exact time

You have seen the film where Will Smith and Gene Hackman are fighting desperately to evade capture from Government agents who are employing all kinds of surveilance technology (obviously that doesn't really happen). But can you imagine how easy this will be if the person they were chasing was a runner? "We've checked their house, their work, their mistress and their pub and can see no si..... oh no wait he is out for a run, he'll be running past this tree in about 8 seconds... 7...6...5...4...3...2... BANG."

Paris Can't wait to wear these. Look at the 68mm drop.

Check out my new Smashcross GTX47 Turbos. Looking forward to taking these babies out on the technicalised river path later

Running has become a cat walk, where the most important thing is the looks of the things on your feet. Obviously you are unlikely to be featured on that little 60 seconds of chavvy news that interupts a film where the main item is Victoria Beckham buying a new hat. The next best thing is to post a photo of shoes onto facebook.

Des Lynam

Bob has had a good season so far, but Bill smashed the CR in the Hill Race last month and Ralph is coming back from injury and looked good on the Road Race recently

No sport is interesting enough for it to need hours and hours of pre-match analysis. I'd rather watch the Simpsons until the game actually starts and then watch that. Leave all the wanking on about what might happen and just focus on what does happen.

Contractual Boredom

Great to place 4th in the Evergreen Trail Marathon today. Would never have even finished if it weren't for my CodgerTM Duplex Eyeball inserts.

There is no such thing as a free lunch. If you get something "for free" you are bound forever to blab on about it until you are defriended sufficiently so that you are no longer "viable" as a representative of the brand.

The Schizoprenic

Great run today in the Ealingshire 10k. Got a bit warm but really pleased with my time

And also

James destroyed the start studdied Ealingshire 10k Ultimate Challenge today, finishing 17th in a field over over 100 competitors in brutal heat

Some of us have two facebook personas. One is harking back to the days where every facebook update had to sat with "is" and hence we all got used to talking about ourselves in the third person and as a natural consequence we bigged ourselves up completely.

The Hypocrite

I wish people would stop wanking on about how far they have run, in what conditions they ran in or what they ate. I DON'T CARE!!

Worst of all is the person who moans about all of the above yet they do the same  themselves. Those are awful.

The worst of them all